<p class="opening-line">It is 2:30am, and I am trying to understand where I am with my thoughts.</p>

<p>I feel as though I am standing at a crossroads. Part of me feels like giving up, walking away from everything, and finding a completely different life.</p>

<div class="warning-line">
  The reason I left my wife’s home was not as simple as people may have made it sound.
  After my father passed away, my mother was alone and grieving, and I felt a strong duty
  to support her emotionally. Looking back, I can see that I was caught between two duties:
  the duty I felt towards my mother, and the duty I had towards my wife and children.
</div>

<h2>Family systems and control</h2>

<p>In some <button class="glossary-ref js-glossary-ref" type="button" data-note="family-system">family systems</button>, marriage, divorce, property, money and reputation can become tied together.</p>

<div class="warning-line">
  Divorce and new arranged marriages can sometimes be used as tools of control. Beneath the language
  of family honour, concern or tradition, there may be a struggle over property, money, assets,
  inheritance and family alliances.
</div>

<div class="warning-line">
  In some family systems, when one brother from one side marries a sister from the other side,
  the marriages can become tied together in unhealthy ways. If one relationship breaks down,
  there can be an expectation that the other marriage should also end.
</div>

<h2>Shame, rumours and reputation</h2>

<p>Some forms of <button class="glossary-ref js-glossary-ref" type="button" data-note="shame-tactics">shame</button> are not really about truth. They are about pressure.</p>

<div class="warning-line">
  Those who try to shame me should remember that the story is far more complicated than the rumours suggest.
  Shame can sometimes be used to bring a person back under control.
</div>

<div class="warning-line">
  My wife asked me to return to our family home because she knows the wider truth of our life together.
  We have lived together for more than twenty years, and she knows that much of the gossip and character
  assassination surrounding me does not reflect the full reality.
</div>

<h2>Facing my own behaviour</h2>

<div class="warning-line">
  Facing the truth also means facing myself. I cannot only speak about what was done to me;
  I also have to look at the choices I made, the ways I coped, and the behaviour that caused
  pain or confusion.
</div>

<section class="facts-box">
  <h2>Seven Facts About the Story</h2>
  <ol class="facts-list">
    <li>I did not leave my wife’s home simply because I wanted to walk away. After my father died, my mother was grieving, and I felt a duty to support her.</li>
    <li>I became divided between two responsibilities: caring for my mother and remaining fully present for my wife and children.</li>
    <li>My wife has known me for more than twenty years. She understands the difference between my genuine mistakes and the rumours built around me.</li>
    <li>The gossip and character assassination do not tell the full story. Much of it is exaggerated, distorted or missing important context.</li>
    <li>Some of the shame tactics seem less about truth and more about control over marriage, children, property, loyalty and family alliances.</li>
    <li>I am not pretending I have done nothing wrong. I have to face my own behaviour, my coping mechanisms, and the ways I have caused pain or confusion.</li>
    <li>I now want to rebuild with truth, autonomy, emotional maturity and protection for my children.</li>
  </ol>
</section>

<div class="life-belongs">
  <p>For the first time in a long time, I am beginning to understand something very simple, but very powerful:</p>
  <h2>My life belongs to me.</h2>
  <ul>
    <li>Not to the tribe.</li>
    <li>Not to the family system.</li>
    <li>Not to shame.</li>
    <li>Not to fear.</li>
    <li>Not to the past.</li>
    <li>Not to anyone else’s expectations.</li>
  </ul>
  <h2>My life belongs to me.</h2>
</div>

<div class="final-line">
  <h2>Just wait for the website to return.</h2>
  <p>Something softer, stronger, and more honest is coming.</p>
</div>
